Earlier this year, my writer friend, Brittney, messaged me with a blog post request: something on positivity, please.
“How do you manage to stay so positive in a time when many people are very focused on the negative?”
My positivity process is not difficult. But it’s not simple either. It’s not a one word, one sentence, or one step solution. Like an onion, there are many layers to the thing.
My first positivity tip is to always remember:
“The Thumper Rule.”
In 1942 the Disney movie “Bambi” introduced this timeless counsel to the world. I reiterated the principle in this blog post. If you don’t recall the rule, here’s a refresher:
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
Does anyone really want to hear another insult, whine, or criticism? About a person or situation? My guess is no, unless you yourself are a whiner or constant critic.
You should also be of the mindset that:
Love wins.
No matter how ugly another individual gets, try not to leave the love camp.
For instance: Recently someone posted an argumentative item on my Facebook wall. I typed a not so nice response, then deleted it. Because, you know, The Thumper Rule.
I then composed another reply, but it wasn’t much better, so I deleted it, too.
Finally I posted something along the lines of, “It’s the weekend. I’m relaxing. Love to all.”
What do you know? The fire beneath the bubbling pot fizzled out.
If I’d chosen to do battle in that thread, who knows what damage may have been done? When confronted with a simmering situation in-person or on-line, to deter disaster, ask yourself,
Is this worth my:
- time
- energy
- sanity
- reputation
In the words of a certain famous Disney song, your best bet is probably going to be to: “Let It Go.” Because the fact of the matter is,
This too shall pass.
I gave this advice in my Crisis Management blog post and it still applies.
The pandemic will pass. This or that president will one day be out of office. This economic downturn will eventually do an about-face. That diet or exercise trend will fall out of favor.
Why lock-and-load on an ephemeral circumstance when daily there are glorious sunrises and sunsets to treasure, precious babies and kittens to cherish, tasty miniature-sized Reese Fast Breaks and tumblers of Talisker Dark Storm scotch to enjoy?
In addition, endeavor to:
Cultivate positivity.
For example, during the pandemic, I posed a question on my Facebook wall:
“What’s better in your life now than it was before the virus came to town?”
Guess how many comments populated the thread? 88, including these:
- More sleep
- More time with family
- Less gasoline used
- Quiet evenings at home—instead of running frantically hither and yon
- Less money spent
- Unexpected checks in the mail
- Less traffic, and consequently, less pollution
One gal observed, “That’s a good attitude question.” Which is exactly why I asked it. Because I am determined to pursue joy, this is the kind of conversation I try to spark on a regular basis. Pandemic or no.
Though the pandemic has upheaved our lives, and so many have suffered, the situation is not without upsides. If you need more proof, watch all eight episodes of John Krasinki’s Some Good News. John’s my positivity hero! Over and over Krasinski chose to source good news to share in the midst of a worldwide crisis.
Another way to stay positive is to keep in mind,
You reap what you sow.
I do not want a bunch of whining, complaining, criticizing, and blaming negativity in my life. Therefore, I try my best not to firehose those things into the atmosphere. Instead I sprinkle positivity-laced morsels over my social media platforms and in my real-life circumstances. So that I will reap news of happiness, joy, and fun. Not gloom and doom.
Shifting gears here, I’m now going to share my proprietary, 3-step life success process:
The Wordy Girl’s Joy Rules
Practice Gratitude
Examine Your Life
Pursue Purpose
Since my life has infinitely improved by recording my blessings (as noted in this post), I highly recommend maintaining a practice of gratitude.
Don’t simply take my word for it. Beloved research professor, Brene Brown, who studies emotional well-being, says the key to joy is practicing gratitude. For nine other ways to experience a wonderful life, click here.
For my instructions on how to examine your life, check out this blog post. Or, you could also sign up for a 6-session Libera group. Helping women and teens examine their lives is Libera’s speciality!
When it comes to cultivating positivity, the examine your life joy rule is extremely important. Many people are negative and grumpy due to displaced anger. They are so dissatisfied with their life, negativity oozes out of them frequently via angry words and actions. If you increase your life satisfaction, I believe your positivity ranking will rise as well.
To me, the third joy rule—pursuing purpose—feels like a beautiful and satisfying mystery to solve. Not only that, but in his recent master class for the Calm app, happiness researcher Shawn Achor posits that:
“Happiness is the joy you feel moving toward your potential.”
Maybe that’s why I’m more positive than the average large mammal. I am super committed to finding out, then living out, my purpose on this planet. On days when I discover yet another piece of my purpose puzzle, I feel positively giddy.
Friend, whatever you’re searching for—happiness, joy, or positivity—please give my positivity pointers and Joy Rules a try.
Bonus: If you’d like to be entered in a drawing to win a gratitude journal, email me here.
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