Twenty-one days ago, my mother passed away. The moment was beautiful—peaceful and holy— and I am so thankful I was with her. Mom’s death served as the final exam for a course I’ve been taking for at least a year now, Death 102: When the end is near (or here). Below, you’ll find my notes from the […]
Daughter Dearest (aka, Rest in Peace, Janet Joy)
One day during my lunch hour in downtown Cincinnati—I lived and worked there in the 80’s—as I walked toward Fountain Square, two gals came at me, arm in arm. The younger woman’s grin was the spitting image of her mom’s. When I stepped in front of them, they stopped walking and talking, their limbs suddenly stiff, their eyes […]
Death 101: The Art of Dying (as taught by Atul Gawande…and my mother)
I’ve come a long way, baby. From being the scarediest of cats about so many things. High bridges, for instance. And death. For the longest time, my parents sheltered my brothers and me from post-mortem matters. It wasn’t until the eighth grade that I attended a funeral, my paternal grandfather’s. In the back of the […]
Aging Parents 103: 26 Tips for Navigating the Dementia Days
“Something’s wrong—changed—with your dad,” Tony Bear said. “He’s not as social as he used to be. Not as talkative. And when you ask him a question, he does this thing where he turns it around and asks you the question.” I’m embarrassed to say, it was my husband—not me, not my mother—who first recognized my father’s cognitive […]
Aging Parents 102: A Little Help Please (Make that, a lot)
The Inciting Incident One evening during July 2015, my guys and I returned from a parade downtown to find three messages on the answering machine. They all said the same thing: My mother had fallen at home and been transported to the hospital in her town, 45 minutes away. I packed a bag and drove […]
