Diane Tarantini

lessons from a life half lived

  • Home
  • Diane
  • Resources
  • Connect
  • Topics
    • Family
      • Aging Parents
      • Raising Children
    • Health
      • Emotional
        • Sexual Abuse
      • Physical
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Friendships
    • Life
      • Home
      • Travel
      • Whatever Strikes My Fancy
    • Faith Matters
  • Home
  • Diane
  • Resources
  • Connect
  • Topics
    • Family
      • Aging Parents
      • Raising Children
    • Health
      • Emotional
        • Sexual Abuse
      • Physical
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Friendships
    • Life
      • Home
      • Travel
      • Whatever Strikes My Fancy
    • Faith Matters

I Kissed Drinking Goodbye (Sort of)

August 16, 2019

I am not an alcoholic, but I’m pretty sure I could be.

In my blood flows the stuff of addiction. Alcohol, or otherwise.

Case in point: My way-back-when relative named Sterling rode a horse off a cliff due to the death-grip of alcohol.

In other family members, I’ve seen signs of self-medicating with substances, with certain behaviors.

My mother’s vice wasn’t alcohol. She jonesed after sweets.

“Come into the kitchen with me,” she’d murmur after supper.

I watched as she fed the leftover peach cobbler to the garbage disposal. Winced as stainless steel blades gobbled the treat.

I almost asked why, but I knew full well why.

Because I, too, tiptoe the moderation tightwire that spans the Niagra Falls of excess, gluttony. With food, beverages, shopping. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Years ago, new to a life of faith, I heard the Spirit’s whisper to not be drunk (with wine).

“Stick to one drink,” the kind voice advised. “Two, at the most, then stop. Trust me on this.”

I obeyed for the most part, except for that one birthday.

The next morning I awoke with my head obnoxiously pained, my mouth potty-paper dry, my bedroom a Tilt-a-Whirl.

I squinted at my face in the bathroom mirror. “How did I get home?”

Furtively. Illegally.

“No one asked if you were okay to drive,” someone, something, defended.

How many times did I do that very thing during high-school and college, the pre-Uber, pre-Jesus years?

Drink…drive…regret…swear off…Well, maybe just one. Two. Three.

“In vino veritas,” the saying goes.

Translation: In wine lies the truth.

To be honest, I don’t even need wine. Words rush and tumble out of my mouth without liquid assistance. But if you introduce alcohol, caffeine even, my tongue’s audacity quadruples.

More often than not, it’s been my careless, fluid speech I lament the most.

I pencil a pro and con list. Concerning alcohol consumption.

The pro row is pitiful. All I can praise is taste and relaxation.

The con column is pregnant, late term for sure.

  • Killer headaches
  • Gnarly stomach
  • Risky behavior
  • Embarrassment, if not humiliation (see previous point)
  • Calories: from the alcohol itself, from the midnight munchies drinking induces
  • The potential for a DUI traffic violation. Or worse, a car wreck. Worse still, a car wreck involving others.
  • The risk of losing everything. There wasn’t much to lose before, but now?

“I should just quit,” I told my cappuccino the morning after that birthday. “Forever.”

“Then why don’t you?” something, someone in the house hissed.

All to say, I don’t wrestle with why.  I wrestle with when.

~~~~~

This post originally ran on my first blog back in 2012. But another year of college is about to begin. Plus I know a number of folks currently dealing with this issue, so here we are.

For more on the  topic of alcohol consumption, read this stunning account.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • More
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Print

1 Comment
Filed Under: Life, Whatever Strikes My Fancy Tagged: Alcoholics Anonymous, drinking, getting sober, giving up drinking, sobriety, when you drink too much, why give up drinking

Comments

  1. Barbara W. says

    August 16, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    I believe I too could be an alcoholic despite the fact I grew up with an alcoholic step father. I know all the risks first hand. Because I know this about myself I rarely partake. My limit for myself is a glass of white wine a few-Very few -times a year. I had my first taste years ago on a trip to Hawaii. Half 7 up half white wine – reisling topped with lime slices. Takes me right back to the scent of orchids and lapping of languid ocean waves of that tropical paradise. So like you I stay aware. Hugs. Barb

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome, friend!

Welcome, friend!

I know stuff. Sit by me.

Subscribe

Sign up here to receive my top ten marriage tips!

This is so fun!! Someone flocked us!! Thank you, M This is so fun!! Someone flocked us!! Thank you, Mystery Flocker! And @wvpublictheatre, this is a super fun promo campaign. We loved being flocked! #fundraiser #bestvirginia #livetheatre #morgantownwv #supportthearts #pink #pinkflamingo #pinkflamingos #neigborhood #gooutside #spring
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Me In Action

https://www.dianetarantini.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/DTBloggingvideo.mp4

Missed Something?

Subscribe

Sign up here to receive the free download, Top 10 Marriage Tips!

My Favorites

My Favorites

Upcoming Events

There are no upcoming events.

Important Things

Terms and Conditions

Privacy Policy

Cookie Policy

Disclosure Statement

Theme Design By Studio Mommy · Copyright © 2021

Web Design By Jennifer Mobley Thompson Web Design

Copyright © 2021 · Mrs. Chalkboard Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.